Scrunchy the bulldog did not have no eyes
(Well, really, he had them, but he thought it wise
To keep both eyes hidden when he went outside
The better to deal with those troublesome flies)
Scrunchy the bulldog did not have no feet
(Well, really, he had them, but he was discrete
He’d heard dogs without feet were cuter, you see,
and the cuter the doggy the bigger the treat)
Scrunchy the bulldog did not have no nose
(Well, really, he had one, so why’d you suppose
that Scrunchy the bulldog would put on a show,
And try to pretend he did not? Well, who knows?)